Now I lay me down to sleep....

Today has been another one of those trying days. My body hasn't been operating properly for some time now, but the emotional and thinking part of me is always working. I always seem to be thinking of some subject matter. Sometimes it can be as silly as thinking of a game that I play and wondering how will I ever beat it. Then, sometimes I tend to think on more important matters. Today, it was a day of thinking of complex thoughts and the conclusions that I have formed in doing that.

I realize how weak my physical self is in going through this trial. I'm mostly not wanting to let it beat me because I've been holding on fast to my faith. That was what I was thinking about today. My faith. I am a Christian, Calvinistic in doctrine but Christian in faith. To make this clear, I do not bow down and worship John Calvin. I just believe that we are predestined in the role that we have. Now, that doesn't make me any better than any soul that has ever walked on this planet, I don't know who God has chosen. He could call you when you're 10, 25, or 70 for all I know. I don't have the knowledge of that, but what I do have knowledge of is what God has been doing in my life.

Some people will say, why believe in an invisible thing? Blah blah blah. Well, to me, God is not a fairy tale in the least. I know in my heart that God is very real, He did create everything that we see. I am a firm believer in the Trinity. The belief, by the way, in the Trinity is not polytheism, it is very much Monotheistic. To explain the Trinity the best way that I can so that one can understand it is that God is the Father, God is the Son, and God is the Holy Spirit.The Father is not the Holy Spirit, The Holy Spirit is not the Son, and the Son is not the Father. In 1 Timothy 2:5, Paul continues to teach that there is but one God while recognizing Jesus as the divine-human Mediator between God and man.

The biblical teaching on the Trinity embodies four essential affirmations.

1.) There is one and only one true and living God.

2.) This one God eternally exist in three persons ~ God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

3.) These three persons are completely equal in attributes, each with the same divine nature.

4.) While each person is fully and completely God, the persons are not identical.

It was so very important that Jesus came here like He did to die for our sins. You hear that so much and some nod and agree, others just give you that funny look like "Why do I need salvation for my sins?", or others just say that yeah, believe in Jesus but you need to work and do *such and such* to earn the right to Heaven. The main thing here is, people don't really realize why sin bothers God so much. He is a perfect Being. He created us. He doesn't sin. He can't stand sin. He actually loathes and hates it. If your name is in the Book of Life on the Day of Judgment, then you will be allowed into Heaven to worship Him for ever.

Alright, now you're asking yourself, why would I want to worship Him forever. I'm getting to that. Hell is a very real place. It is full of gnashing of teeth, pain, sorrow, eternal anguish. Eternal is defined as having infinite duration. That means, that it will never end. You will want something to drink, you won't get it. You will want just a second of relief from the pain and it won't happen. It lasts literally, not a manner of speaking, forever. The reason I want to worship the true God, the living God, the Being that Created everything and gives us the air to breath, is because of the very true fact that He has saved me from that. He has saved my soul, out of none of my doing whatsoever, from an eternal everlasting fire pit of pain, suffering, and punishment.

Eternity is a very long time to live in something like that. To exist, rather in a permanent state of torment. There is no going back either when you do realize, hey God does exist and He even came here to die for my sins, so Since I see and Believe, I'm sorry. It does not work like that.

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” ~John 20:29

He wants us to have faith before the fact, not after the fact. Its like when you're a child and you get in trouble for some misdeed. Your parents do something to let you see the error of your ways, not let you off Scott free. That would not allow you to learn.

So, after saying all this, my thoughts earlier today when I was just laying in my bed and thinking. I was thinking of how fast it seemed that we got here, but in reality, years and centuries have passed. It seemed like all of a sudden, it was like BAM I'm here. God knew me before I even came into the world's existence. He knew when He first formed the Earth, Universe, everything so long ago that there would be a Susan. He created every hair on my head, cell, eyes, all of it. He created me with love. He does love me so much and I know this because He sent His son to die a most horrible death to pay for the sins that I commit. He knew the wrongs I would do in this life and died for me centuries before I even cried my first tear, told my first lie, or rebelled against my mother and father. He knew I needed that. There is no way that I could ever do anything on this planet that could make God forgive me for the sins, the things that separate me from Him. The hard cold fact is, there is nothing any of us can do by ourselves to gain admittance into His presence for all eternity and have complete forgiveness. Jesus came here to do that for us. He is the only one that has ever been born into this world that was without fault. God saw complete and utter favor in Him. He was perfect. He died for us. His blood cleanses us. He makes us perfect so that we can also show no fault when we stand before God so that our names will be in the Book of Life.

I was thinking so much today. When we get before Him, all of us will. Everyone will stand before Him, whether or not you believe in Him now, we all we be before Him to face that judgment. There is no hiding. I thought of why we should fear God. The fear I would have, is that I would be turned away. That I would be cast from my Creator for ever. It wouldn't be like before we were born either. We would completely and totally realize everything that happens. We would have full conscious state of mind of what was occurring to us. The human in me wants no one to go through that sort of pain and torment. Its not up to me. Its really not. I am a person full of fault and have no right to judge anyone. What I can do is urge people to realize the truth of it all. That we were created with God's hands. He sent His son to do what we just can't do ourselves. No matter how good you think you are, unless one has Jesus' righteousness imbued upon you, then it is a very real thing that you would be separated from Him for ever. That separation is full of pain. To be with Him is not. He is preparing a place for the ones He has elected. Those people will spend their time in Heaven worshiping this very loving and just God. Some may ask, Why is it taking God so long to go and build this place? This new Heaven and new Earth? Well, God doesn't live in time. He created time. Its different for Him.

I do know these things about myself. I fully believe in God, The Trinity, and the Bible. I know that I desire to do good, but without God I can't. I understand that I am a human and that I need Jesus to be with God for all eternity. I don't want to sin but I find myself doing that and I can't stand it. I thank God everyday for His love, grace, and mercy. I only hope that people that I love dearly will come to those truths as well some day. I can't force it upon them, nor will I even try. I will explain, as I do when asked, why I believe, how I came to believe it, and that of the like. It is refreshing to realize that no matter how weak I am physically that my spiritual self is always strong because of Him.

Maybe soon I'll write out my own personal testimony in a blog or something. It wasn't an easy road at all, but then again, nothing worth it is ever easy.

Until next time, God bless and Jesus Be with You all.

Love always,

Susan

References:

ESV Bible on the section speaking of the Trinity.