Anger

I'm just going to make this one very short, mostly because I'm really exhausted. The last three days now, I've felt absolutely horrible. My cyst has decided to send me spiraling through another whirlwind. I hate it when it does that because it makes my entire body hurt and leaves me feeling drained. I hate the way it makes me so nauseated and everything. I am trying to keep my head up through it all though and am hoping through every bit of hope and prayers that the doctor in LA will agree to drain this thing away from me so I can have my life back and perhaps salvage what's left of it. I am really thankful to those who support me in this and have my back because it truly does mean so much to me. I just want the pressure in my head to go away so I can concentrate on what normal young adults concentrate on. Work, finishing school, and that of the like. I have done nothing but sleep the last few days and haven't felt like doing much at all. I worry about a lot of things. I am coming to the realization slowly that I can't do what I did five years ago. Its a hard pill to swallow to realize that your body isn't what it used to be. It gets really depressing when you wake up and want to do certain things but then, the pain hits and instead of finishing getting ready for work, you're hovered over a toilet getting sick. You try to make your body knock it off, but it doesn't. Maybe one day this pain will stop and I sure do hope its soon because, even though I am rather strong, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
And also, since this is my blog and I know that I normally don't say things like this, but I will exercise my Freedom of Speech. To the jerk doctor that said my cyst wasn't causing my problems or my symptoms, that I was just wasting my time trying to get something done about it, and that it was filled with saltwater? Here's a big f*** you, Mister. I wish you would have been there when I had a seizure in my car. I wish you were here every time I can't control my body, every time I throw up, every I am in pain. So, really, screw you you stupid asshole for over-talking me and not listening to a damned word I said. I will never forget the way you treated me you sorry excuse for a doctor.